Found a new pair of shoes on sale for $25. They are Adios so that was a good find. They look like my old ones, which the soles had worn holes in them.

I am so glad to be leaving this place, but damnation I fucking hate moving! seven trips out to the new place and I still have so much shit left to move. I have been at it since 8 this morning and I gave up around 5. I feel like I have run a marathon. 

I guess have come to another conclusion about myself. I have a subconscious fear of change. Any kind of change. I suppose it is from being little I was never in any one place for too long. My parents moved around a lot, even though it was in the same county mostly, and they had shared custody of me so there was a week here and a week there. To answer Pink Floyd’s question, I would never exchange cold comfort for change. I always end up losing piece of mind, friends, things, etc. I think this might be for the best though.  

I came to a conclusion today.

I want to be a nurse. 

I completed my college education last summer and went to work for the state of North Carolina. It is not my dream job, but it pays the bills. I realized that it has very little opportunity for advancement. So now that I have more desirable hours, I think that I will go to classes at the local community college and get a two year nursing degree. I want to have something with more practical applications than Political Science. If I can’t be a massive success, I can at least help people. 

I already have one male nurse in the family, I might as well be one too. Besides, other than History and Political Science, Biology was my best subject. 

Last night, even before midnight, people started to set off fireworks. 

But at midnight, it went into full swing! But because of the fog we could not see most of it. Since the sale of fireworks is illegal in North Carolina, not a lot of people bothered to make trips to the three surrounding states where they are legal, so some people improvised. There were some very distinct loud cracks from the other side of the woods. “You hear that?… That’s a damn pistol.”

“Well, hell yeah! Go get your .38!”

“No! Todd has work in the morning. That would wake him up for sure.”

“Damn it…”

We had nothing to set off. But we still had fun.  

Here is hoping that 2013 won’t suck nearly as bad as 2012!

I called my friend Hunter’s old land lord and inquired if he had any openings. He said that he would have apartments opening up starting in January and all through to the spring. I asked him if her building had any openings in particular and he said yes.

THANK GOD. 

My roommate finds new and interesting ways to suck. Tonight I have a headache from a combination of the stink of weed smoke and his loud bassy music that falls into the category of “retard with a mixing board” genre. When he first moved in and started playing that shit he kept saying “Its ok! Its not dub step!” like that some how makes this shit bearable. There really is no difference between dub step or glitch or house or electro or any of that club shit. It probably all sounds like Mozart when you are strung out on ecstasy. I’m going to buy the son of a bitch some headphones and hope he uses them. I hate his music and I can’t smoke pot anymore because of my job.

Also his friends are all sketch balls. Four of them came shuffling in. They were in his room for about 20 minutes and then they were gone. He tells me that he just smokes and does not deal, but sometimes I wonder. They weren’t here long enough to just smoke. They made me uncomfortable, so calmly got up, put on my coat, went to my room, put my pistol in one of my coat pockets and kept my hand on it in case something went wrong. If any of these bastards break in on us because of him, there is going to be hell to pay.

I don’t know if I am in some kind of a rut or maybe I am getting old and cynical, but I find it harder and harder to enjoy new things. 

Mostly I mean in terms of music. I like industrial music. Two of my favorite bands in that genre are Ministry and KMFDM. I try listening to newer industrial bands but it doesn’t hold a candle to them. I want to find something new and exciting, but nothing really stands out. I found one band that combined industrial with black metal. Normally that would be a winning combination but they sucked. I have found some really good heavy metal bands, some of them from friends, like Legion of the Damned and Naildown. But I always seem to find myself going back to the same old sensations. 

Maybe I am getting old. I would believe it. 

I try to find new stuff that is also familiar, if that makes any sense. 

To any one reading this, if there is something heavy that you think I would like, drop me a line, huh? As long as there is a tuned down guitar in there somewhere I will be happy.