I often have people regurgitating that old idiom “Money can’t buy happiness” at me. 

To which I reply, I have been poor and miserable my whole life. Being rich and miserable would be a nice change of pace. 

Who can claim to be unhappy when they don’t have to work and can, on a whim, hop on a private jet and spend a month or two in Rome or London? They only have one problem: How to spend all that money. 

Maybe two if they are bound and determined to somehow take it into the after with them.

Yesterday I went to the community college and picked up a packet of information and paperwork to fill out to attend. I have until the 1st of August to register for fall classes. Since I found out that I will not be made permanent until Lazy Ronald retires next April, it has given me a bit more motivation to get the hell out of there as soon as possible. I am going to turn it in on Monday and hopefully speak to an adviser on what I need to take. 

Speaking of work, the reason I was able to go because I had Thursday off from work. Since they have consolidated our departments for the summer, which is usual apparently, and it will continue into the fucking fall because their building is under renovation, is that in order to keep things “fair” they make everyone work a weekend day in exchange for a week day off. Which fucking sucks because you will never get two days off in a row. So if you want to go anywhere for more than a day you are fucked! If it where fair, they would not treat the people in our department do that and just the assholes that were brought in. 

Also I got into it with a girl I work with. One of the new positions created during the summer is a doorman like position where a person sits in a chair and waves everyone to the right entrance. I merely remarked that it was a nice change of pace from standing behind a counter for 8 hours and she went ballistic and started accusing me of accusing her of being lazy. I reminded her that she was and that I only knew what her ex-best friend told me and then I walked away. In typical crazy bitch fashion she started yelling at me across the main floor as I walked away. She then went into the head manager’s office and tried to get me in trouble. He did not believe her and knew that I meant no harm. The situation defused. Also, she got in trouble with the other supervisors for not respecting the chain of command and going over their heads. They said she is also on thin ice over snapping at other co-workers, lying about being pregnant and faking an injury. 

I also found out my friend Ms. Ruth got a new position and is moving to another department. I will miss her but she will visit and she will be better off than she was. She has a fair share of assholes to deal with, even more so because they give her hell for being Jewish and Canadian. She is the nicest and most generous person that I have ever worked with there. I already miss her.

And the last time I visited my mom she went on another tirade about the length of my hair and the way I am dressed. She kept trying to rationalize her disapproval by saying that I will be more successful with getting jobs that I am not qualified for and that girls will give me “a second look”. Not just any girls, the “girls at Wal-Mart”. Wow, mom. The number one place to pick up chicks. Especially with no teeth and no fucking future. My whole life I have been the invisible man. No one gives me a first look so why should I go out of my way to impress some superficial moron? Besides… I am happy to some extent the way I am! My love life is none of her God damned business. I barely have a social life because I went to school for five years and worked 7 days a week to keep MYSELF up the whole fucking time. I have only two real friends in this world and I cherish them for that and they are all I really need. 

I want out.

“One of these days I am going to tunnel out of this ocean of shit I’m in.”

I was going to go with my friend Will to the comic convention in Charlotte but a combination of things led to that getting fucked. 

As I have stated in previous posts, I have been on unemployment for the last month due to a break at work. This pisses me off for a number of reasons, the biggest being that my main source of income has been cut off. All those right-wing assholes on TV that say that people who draw unemployment are lazy bum that leach off the system are assholes and they are wrong. You barely scrape by on it. Thank God that I had this month’s rent taken care of before they sent me on break. Hopefully I will be full time next year and I will only have to be out of work for 2 weeks, and I will get more pay. 

Second is that Saturday is the only day for the rest of the year probably that I can get my surgery done at the free clinic in Wilkesboro. Dr. Chung will be there with his equipment. He is only there maybe 6 times a year. Even then he does not always bring his surgical equipment. 

One of these days I am going to tunnel out of this ocean of shit I’m in. 

On a lighter note, the PS3 I found is not functioning but the man at the store said that it can be repaired. It will be about a month before I do that. I thought Hunter would be bummed to hear that but she was cool with it. One of her brother’s friends said he would sell her his PS3 and its games. I think he is getting the PS4. I hope he give her a good deal on them. If not, she has mine as a back up plan. I am always a good bronze medal. 

Peace.

I am going to see the new star trek movie in about half an hour. I hope it is as good as the first!

So, my first week of being temporarily laid off is going uneventfully. I really don’t know what to do with myself with time off. Once again, going to school and working every minute of free time leaves me not knowing what to do with myself. I wish I owned a bicycle and knew how to ride it. Maybe I could do some exploring.

I got caught up on watching the movies I have back logged. “The Innkeepers” scared the hell out of me. 

They are doing construction at my apartment to get rid of the rotting wooden retaining wall. So I am woken up at 8 every morning by the entire building shaking from the earth moving equipment. If you don’t move your car by 9 they will block you in all day.

I got some texts last night from Hunter. That was a real morale boost. I felt bad because I missed the first one she sent because I slept from 3 to 9 and missed the first one. It was nice hearing from her. 

The unemployment office says that I can draw $175 a week. Not a huge amount but enough to buy groceries and help pay the rent. It makes me want to start attending nursing school as soon as possible. I am sick of squeaking by with my current dead-end job. I saw Dennis at the free clinic Saturday. He told me that before he retired, he was making 80K a year nursing. I want to do that. I just need to apply for the classes and the grants. Why in the hell did I go into political science? It is only practical if you are going to teach, and I hate children anyway. 

Another thing pissing me off is that my computer is running slow. It is that special kind of slow that makes if freeze and the line of text that you were just typing shoots across the screen before freezing the fuck up again. Tumblr gifs make it go crazy. I hate technology. It is wonderful when it wants to work. I also need to get off my ass and get an internet connection. I just have my own weird anxiety things that makes me want to put it off.

Sometimes it is just not worth getting out of bed.

Yesterday was my last day of work until the 10th of June. I hate being a temporary. 

The man who is supposed to retire in June, at which time they will make me permanent, has been saying that he will stay on for another YEAR. I hate that fat, worthless bastard! He is probably just doing it to spite me. He weighs 450 pounds and has me and another guy to do his work for him, so he has it good. He might as well be on welfare cause all he does is sit on his ass and collect checks. I do twice as much work as him, I have not missed a day of work, I follow the rules and that useless lump makes more money than me and has benefits. Maybe when the time comes in June for the option for him to retire he will take it. Every time I think I am going to climb out of the hole, my footing crumbles away and I stay in the dark. 

So anyway, my bitching and venting aside, for the next month I am officially classified as “laid off”. But, all is not lost. With the pay checks I am owed, my rent is covered and I get to apply for unemployment, which I did this afternoon. The first week is waiting as they process me, but they told me that I will be paid about half of my actual wages. That’s not bad. I will be ok. And they told me that I can get a part-time job and still draw. 

I think I am going to do alright.

This past weekend was awesome. 

Hunter came up and we hung out for most of it. I gave her her belated birthday presents and she seemed to like them. I took her and Yvonne to dinner and after that I took her to see the “Evil Dead” remake. But, before we went to see that we watched all three films from the original trilogy. 

We had coffee with Scape and had a good time. 

The only thing that put a damper on things was I got sort of cash and had to borrow some from Hunter. She forbid me from paying her back and seemed to get mad at me. My sense of honor compels me to, though. 

The worst thing about it was the idea that I made her mad. There is nothing that terrifies me more than the idea of losing her friendship. That is the kind of thing that wakes me up in the middle of the night. 

I will do something nice for her to pay her back. She will see. 

Oh, and I know you will read this Hunter. Love you! ;)