theglasseyemerchant:

ahnk

So if anyone who reads my posts knows a few months ago I got some benign cysts removed from my scalp at the free clinic (because I don’t have any fucking health insurance). Anyway, they left some small ones for a later date because they were not that pressing and their were other patients waiting.

Anyhow, I spent the weekend at my mom’s house. It was cool. We went to the flea market and I got a bunch of cool stuff. But one night, one of the cysts became red and inflamed. It was sore and everything that touched it hurt like hell. I was desperate and I asked my mom to stick it shallowly with a needle to let off some of the pressure. She did so but it had little effect and she was worried because it will be a month before the next free clinic.

The next day at work, it swelled up and came to a head. When I got home I knew it was infected and I had to do something about it because the thought of it poisoning my body and making me sick was not a very nice prospect. So, I jabbed it. I started squeezing the infection out and all of a sudden I head a popping sound, like bubble wrap under my skin. Blood started running down my face in streams and I looked in my hand to see what I had. It turns out that I had forced out two of the cysts! One whole, one in pieces.

I had never been so proud, so fascinated and so grossed out in my whole life! I saved my self a doctors visit. I stood their, a mixture of blood, peroxide and rubbing alcohol running all over me and I knew I had conquered the little bastards!

Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me…

I was born this day at 2:13 AM. They said I came out with my umbilical cord wrapped around my neck. I guess even from that very young age I had no will to live.

I look back and think, where did all that time go? Did I waste it? Why do I feel so old and worn out?

Not to say that there are no bright spots. But they are stars in the void of the night sky. So isolated and small. Ready to be swallowed up. But I guess I take comfort that even though they are small and striving to survive, where there was just a black void, there is now a million points of light. So I guess they are winning.

I love having manic depression. Every day is a roller coaster of emotion.

I have tomorrow off. I am going to use it to get my car inspected. Although the merged departments are being separated again, we are still on the stupid randomized schedule. You rarely get two days off in a row, making planning for non-work activities very hard to schedule. You can’t really do anywhere or stay out late, because you are too tired when you get home and then the free day can’t run late because you have to be back at work at 5am.

It will all change on the 20th, tho. I will go back to having weekends off except for optional overtime on game days. Those are not so back. You get time and a half for 4 hours of work delivering barrels of ice.

Despite having to take my car in for inspection, it will only be about $30. Not too bad considering how much I have to pay out this month. I have to pay rent and tuition but I worked it out. My rental company said they would allow me to wait until the 15th to pay my rent with no late fee. So I paid my tuition on the first of the month with that paycheck and then I will pay the rent with the middle of the month pay check.

I did have some disposable income to get some books tho. I know that is is a bit extravagant, but they were on sale.

Besides, I have a method for getting cash. I turn in books to a local shop for cash. I get the books from various departments on campus that give them away. I can sometimes get up to $30 on a load. That might no seem like that much, but it can buy a lot of groceries and can pay my power bill for the month.

Things really sucked for a while because on Thursday at some point I lost a $50 bill. I have no idea where the fucker is, I practically tore my apartment apart trying to find it. It is not the end of the world but I could have bought a lot of food and it made me feel really shitty.

I did manage to go see “Pacific Rim” and it was awesome. When the first kaiju appears and destroys the Golden Gate bridge, I actually felt like a kid again watching my first Godzilla movie. It was an excellent film. 

I text’d hunter afterward and we geek’d out over it. She also said that she was going to visit sometime soon. That is always fantastic. She had to cancel her last visit because of Father’s Day and ever since then my mom keeps asking “When is Hunter coming to visit you?!” I just tell her when she feels ready too, I don’t want to push the issue. She called last night and ask for the 100th time and I told her point blank that I did not know and neither did Hunter and I would gladly inform her when she did. I got a little annoyed. 

Anyway, she also told me that she is going to BronyCon and will bring me some treasure from it. It is in Baltimore and I have no money to attend. Hopefully she will bring me something cool. When she when to FWA she brought me some kick ass pony badges. I still have them hanging in my room.

Once I pay rent and tuition it will take me some time to work and recover. I should also have my pistol paid off by then. Once again, that missing 50 spot could really come in handy. But once I get my nursing degree, I can afford to do things like go to conventions and commission art. Maybe afford some of the finer things in life instead of scraping my pennies together in the hope of buying a $15 box fan at Big Lots. 

I have it worked out though. My landlord is pretty friendly with me. If I ask her to delay my rent until the 15th then I can pay both and not starve for most of the month of August.

Speaking of which, my birthday is the 15th. I feel old. So very old. 

So, today I registered for my classes at community college! They are just waiting to get my transcripts and I need to pay my tuition by the August 2nd. So, yay.

I was only able to register for two classes being this late into registration. They are both online classes, the only way I could take them, and a lab. They are Basic Computer Skills and Anatomy. The only one that worries me is the computer skills class because technology has never been my friend. Together with fees it will run me about $512 all together. The first CNA class will only be about $125!

I might have to eat a lot of ramen for the first month or two but it will be worth it to get the hell out of housekeeping.On that front, the worthless old man that I work with, the one that has to retire before they make me full time, is considering leaving at the end of the year! That means I get to work year round, get more pay and finally get some benefits! 

Here’s hoping.