Today, I start my first day of community college to get my nursing degree.

I fell so nervous I think I am on the verge of a panic attack every time I think about it.

But, I have to do this. Otherwise I will just spend the rest of my life just scraping by. And I want out of that so bad I can taste it.

Things really sucked for a while because on Thursday at some point I lost a $50 bill. I have no idea where the fucker is, I practically tore my apartment apart trying to find it. It is not the end of the world but I could have bought a lot of food and it made me feel really shitty.

I did manage to go see “Pacific Rim” and it was awesome. When the first kaiju appears and destroys the Golden Gate bridge, I actually felt like a kid again watching my first Godzilla movie. It was an excellent film. 

I text’d hunter afterward and we geek’d out over it. She also said that she was going to visit sometime soon. That is always fantastic. She had to cancel her last visit because of Father’s Day and ever since then my mom keeps asking “When is Hunter coming to visit you?!” I just tell her when she feels ready too, I don’t want to push the issue. She called last night and ask for the 100th time and I told her point blank that I did not know and neither did Hunter and I would gladly inform her when she did. I got a little annoyed. 

Anyway, she also told me that she is going to BronyCon and will bring me some treasure from it. It is in Baltimore and I have no money to attend. Hopefully she will bring me something cool. When she when to FWA she brought me some kick ass pony badges. I still have them hanging in my room.

Once I pay rent and tuition it will take me some time to work and recover. I should also have my pistol paid off by then. Once again, that missing 50 spot could really come in handy. But once I get my nursing degree, I can afford to do things like go to conventions and commission art. Maybe afford some of the finer things in life instead of scraping my pennies together in the hope of buying a $15 box fan at Big Lots. 

I have it worked out though. My landlord is pretty friendly with me. If I ask her to delay my rent until the 15th then I can pay both and not starve for most of the month of August.

Speaking of which, my birthday is the 15th. I feel old. So very old. 

So, today I registered for my classes at community college! They are just waiting to get my transcripts and I need to pay my tuition by the August 2nd. So, yay.

I was only able to register for two classes being this late into registration. They are both online classes, the only way I could take them, and a lab. They are Basic Computer Skills and Anatomy. The only one that worries me is the computer skills class because technology has never been my friend. Together with fees it will run me about $512 all together. The first CNA class will only be about $125!

I might have to eat a lot of ramen for the first month or two but it will be worth it to get the hell out of housekeeping.On that front, the worthless old man that I work with, the one that has to retire before they make me full time, is considering leaving at the end of the year! That means I get to work year round, get more pay and finally get some benefits! 

Here’s hoping.

Yesterday I went to the community college and picked up a packet of information and paperwork to fill out to attend. I have until the 1st of August to register for fall classes. Since I found out that I will not be made permanent until Lazy Ronald retires next April, it has given me a bit more motivation to get the hell out of there as soon as possible. I am going to turn it in on Monday and hopefully speak to an adviser on what I need to take. 

Speaking of work, the reason I was able to go because I had Thursday off from work. Since they have consolidated our departments for the summer, which is usual apparently, and it will continue into the fucking fall because their building is under renovation, is that in order to keep things “fair” they make everyone work a weekend day in exchange for a week day off. Which fucking sucks because you will never get two days off in a row. So if you want to go anywhere for more than a day you are fucked! If it where fair, they would not treat the people in our department do that and just the assholes that were brought in. 

Also I got into it with a girl I work with. One of the new positions created during the summer is a doorman like position where a person sits in a chair and waves everyone to the right entrance. I merely remarked that it was a nice change of pace from standing behind a counter for 8 hours and she went ballistic and started accusing me of accusing her of being lazy. I reminded her that she was and that I only knew what her ex-best friend told me and then I walked away. In typical crazy bitch fashion she started yelling at me across the main floor as I walked away. She then went into the head manager’s office and tried to get me in trouble. He did not believe her and knew that I meant no harm. The situation defused. Also, she got in trouble with the other supervisors for not respecting the chain of command and going over their heads. They said she is also on thin ice over snapping at other co-workers, lying about being pregnant and faking an injury. 

I also found out my friend Ms. Ruth got a new position and is moving to another department. I will miss her but she will visit and she will be better off than she was. She has a fair share of assholes to deal with, even more so because they give her hell for being Jewish and Canadian. She is the nicest and most generous person that I have ever worked with there. I already miss her.

And the last time I visited my mom she went on another tirade about the length of my hair and the way I am dressed. She kept trying to rationalize her disapproval by saying that I will be more successful with getting jobs that I am not qualified for and that girls will give me “a second look”. Not just any girls, the “girls at Wal-Mart”. Wow, mom. The number one place to pick up chicks. Especially with no teeth and no fucking future. My whole life I have been the invisible man. No one gives me a first look so why should I go out of my way to impress some superficial moron? Besides… I am happy to some extent the way I am! My love life is none of her God damned business. I barely have a social life because I went to school for five years and worked 7 days a week to keep MYSELF up the whole fucking time. I have only two real friends in this world and I cherish them for that and they are all I really need. 

I want out.

“One of these days I am going to tunnel out of this ocean of shit I’m in.”