malignantlyuselesss:

“Anger should be expressed. - Any anger that is not coming out, flowing freely, will turn into sadism, power drive, stammering, and other means of torturing.”

― Bruce Lee

I work for the college I attended. Appalachian State University.

Because I had to graduate school at a time that the economy got screwed up and no one has made any great strides to fix it, I had to take whatever job I could get. Mine happens to be cleaning.

For over a year and a half, I have been doing the work of a permanent employee at temporary pay. I have no benefits and make about $10.90 an hour before taxes. Normally that would be ok, but I have to take TWO MONTHS off every year. So, it comes out to be a minimum wage job.

For the entire time I have done this job, my employers have been promising to make me a permanent member of the staff, which would mean $500 extra a month plus health benefits. Making permanent was dependent on another employee retiring, a 66 year old, 450 pound lazy retard with the social skills of a rabid dog and the work ethic of a log.

He leaves at the end of this week. Two different supervisors told me that I would still have to go through the regular application and interview process for the sake of formality and to conform to state laws.

Before I left work today, I asked my one of my supervisors (one of 5!) when the job will be posted on the employment website…

He said IT WAS NOT GOING TO BE POSTED.

That’s right! They have been jerking me around for a year and a half! They said that a lot more people would have to leave before I would be made a permanent employee!!!

I have put up with threats, belittlement, bigotry, ignorance and intolerance from a bunch of backwoods retards (my co-workers) and the bourgeoisie yuppy larva capitalist piglets ( the students) for going on two years now! And I have nothing to show for it! All that loyalty and rolling over! Not a God… Damned… THING!

The lesson children: Never be loyal to something that keeps you poor. Fight it in anyway you can because otherwise you are just breaking your back to make some son of a bitch rich! A son of a bitch that gets a 5 figure bonus at the end of the year for keeping operating cost as low as possible.

To give you the idea of the shit I have to put up with. I got called into the boss’s office and he said:

“Its come to my attention that you say that we promote racism here at ASU.”

“I never said that! I said that it happens! I was speaking out against it.”

I got called into the boss’s office and threatened with discipline for speaking out against racism for fuck’s sake! That is how much those fucks will go to smooth over everything!

There is an asshole there who harasses one of my friends for being Jewish, makes Holocaust jokes and got caught looking at looking at porn on company computers on company time and he has permanent pay and benefits when the racist perverted fuck should have lost his fucking job!

But its ok! As long as it does not become public knowledge!

Just turn a blind eye to racist jokes and hiring practices! Just remove the chairs and trays and tables that the students carve swastikas into! Its not a problem here!

… Because we delude ourselves into believing it does not happen at our quaint 93.5% white college! Ignorance is the best bliss and PR!

I now have new motivation to earn my CNA. TO GET THE FLYING FUCK OUT OF THIS CESSPOOL OF A UNIVERSITY!

Oh! And despite the rampant racism, homophobia, Islamophobia, and antisemitism that runs rampant. ASU made a top 10 list of schools who are the worst about freedom of speech! 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/greg-lukianoff/the-10-worst-colleges-for_b_4475755.html

And just because you are white does not make you safe! The say all kinds of horrible things about Russians, Italians and Irish!

I know from experience. I made the mistake of letting them know that I am Irish! That meant that I was automatically an alcoholic, that I ate nothing but potatoes and that I was an IRA terrorist!

If your not a WASP you don’t belong in that hive!

And suddenly there was war
We didn’t remember it
A long time forgotten
There suddenly was war
And suddenly there was war
Our children are dead
Burnt in the ruins
That were left by war
War

And suddenly there was war
And the mothers they screamed
For revenge and reprisals
For another war
And suddenly
And suddenly
And suddenly there was war
With spoiling and death
And you fight alone
If there’s another war

Whole life is war
And whole life is pain
And you will fight alone
In your personal war
War

This is war
War

Around the 20th of February I filled my taxes and here it is almost 4 weeks later, I have yet to get it. I have not found anything wrong, and the IRS only lets you track it if you know the exact amount you are going to get back. Which is kind of stupid considering that most of us leave that to accountants and what have you, and they compile not only earnings, but the reams of tax receipts that I got by giving every thing I can to Goodwill.

I am counting on this money. I have been out of work for a week due to the break, so I am going to feel that at the end of the month. Another thing that pisses me off is that if it does not come by the end of the week, I can’t afford to go to the horror convention with Will. Also, I found a pistol in a pawn shop in Wilkesboro that is perfect and cheap. I laid it away but if I get my check, I can pay it off and try it out. 

Some more details of my mundane life since last I posted. I had no money to send anything to my mom for her birthday so I tried to avoid the issue until my next pay day. Between that and picking up the slack for my lazy bastard co-workers, I had to stay over 2 hours extra almost every day that week so I was exhausted. My mom called me and started telling some facetious, bitchy story of how she hoped I married some one who would remember shit so she would get fed when she is old because I am so fucking unreliable and forgetful. After making me fell like shit she hung up. What was I supposed to tell her? I came home home and went straight to bed that day because I was not allowed to leave work until I finished everything? That my co-workers did not show up?! That a 11 hour day was not tiring? Or that I didn’t have enough cash in my pocket to even send a card? Besides, cards and phone cards are just signs that you don’t care enough to send a real gift! Besides, I just love how she had to set me up and knock me down with that super hypothetical story! I wish, I wish to almighty God that she would do this shit to my dope-addict sister! Every time I slip up it is the end of the world. But a more realistic story would be her allowed to starve because her pill-head daughter and her scum bag boyfriend stole everything that wasn’t nailed down for pill money or slit her fucking throat to get it. Being emotionally neglected being the least of her worries! I am a college graduate with a not-to-glamorous but steady job and my sister is a degenerate drug addict that got her kids taken away from her, stole from family and stranger alike, and ended up in jail for 5 years. I think I am doing pretty God damned good for myself.

But, I could never do that to her and she knows it. She says that I am more like her in that we have a no-combative, gentle nature. Or it is more likely that we have a passive aggressive, bitchy nature. But the difference being that I can’t bring myself to hurt her like she hurts me. I am reminded of what Ms. Ruth, a kindly Jewish lady that I work for says. You always hut the ones you love, because they don’t abandon you as readily as others. For better or worse, you always come back. 

Fuck…

On a lighter note, After hunter visited and we watched “The 4th Kind”, I ordered a book about the Sumerian civilization, because I need to know more about them. Everyone should really, because of everything that they gave to us. 

Hopefully, my money will show up soon and I can actually have a little fun. Haru Nakajima is going to be at the convention. I need to thank him, his movies made my childhood so much more bearable.