Tonight was my CNA 1 competency test and I have to admit that I was pretty nervous.

What made me calmer was the fact that my partner was freaking the fuck out. She bounced back in forth between saying “Help me, Jesus!” and telling me to shut the hell up. I let it go because it was mostly nerves and not her usual hatefulness. She was visibly shaking so I probably should be more sensitive. 

I only screwed up a couple of things. Minor things like fluffing a patient’s pillow after you position them on their side. I wash my hands for 40 seconds because I lost count during the required 20 seconds. So no real harm no foul. 

And I am now CPR certified too! I got my card so I can now save lives… Or make out with people at random. Of course I could probably do that anyway but lets face it, not too many people want to do that while conscious!

But now that I have reached another level in my nursing school, I have but one thing to say. The same thing that I always say!

Suck my balls, dad! I’m somebody now!