puttingherinhistory:

The reason this keeps happening is because nobody actually puts language on WHY incest is wrong.  Everyone talks about how gross it is, and how there may be genetic defects if there’s a child conceived, and those are easy arguments to dismiss with “well then just don’t have a child or if you do be prepared to care for a disabled child with defects”

The reason incest is wrong and should be criminalized is because there is no way to have socially acceptable incest without grooming.  There are inescapable power dynamics in a family unit, that last forever.  There are children who are vulnerable and do not have a grasp of consent.  Incest is just as bad if the child isn’t biological, the genetic default argument is irrelevant.

In the case of siblings, they are going to be different ages.  They also will have grown up together.  There is no way to separate an older sibling and a younger sibling from a grooming dynamic when they live together. Most younger siblings grow up seeing their older sibling as an authority figure to some degree which will have an affect on the relationships power dynamics. When you have access to a child for their entire life, you can manipulate them however you want to see inappropriate behavior as acceptable and isolate them from experiences that would counteract that.

There may be rare instances where grooming doesn’t happen: stepsiblings who are the same age and meet later in their development, children who don’t live together, cousins maybe, but I do not think fringe 1% of the time or less cases get to normalize the 99% that are manipulation and abuse.

Even if the abuse or manipulation is unconscious, even if there is no ill intent (which is hard to imagine these days with COCSA on the rise and the average age of first porn exposure going younger and younger every year), it still messes with a child’s perception of healthy relationships.

When you break up with a partner, you have the ability to cut ties with them.  You don’t have that luxury with a family member without having some massive effect on family dynamics that will make leaving or cutting off ties a lot more difficult if not impossible.  Abusers know this and use this as further manipulation. In even the most benign cases it taints the entire family dynamic.

And none of the best case scenarios excuse the rampant sexual abuse and grooming which make up nearly all of the cases.  Or the number of incest cases that aren’t siblings, but parents, uncles, stepparents, et cetera

I knew incest was wrong but never critically examined why because it’s gross and that’s self-evident, isn’t it?  When the gay marriage debate was happening, I would hear the case that “will incest be legal too then?” and I didn’t actually have a counterargument, it felt wrong but I didn’t have words for it.

Pedophilia and grooming are vile, abuse of power is vile, and there is no way to separate that from “consensual” incest, period.