sexhaver:

alternative-leo:

sexhaver:

broke: only slash three tires because if you slash all four then insurance will cover it but they won’t cover three (this is literally not true btw and could serve to establish in court that you were slashing their tires to cause maximum financial damage as opposed to an emotional rage)

woke: slash all four tires because fuck em

bespoke: slash two tires diagonally opposite from each other. nobody has more than one spare, it’s impossible to get up on jacks, and trying to drive it will destroy the undercarriage as it rocks back and forth and slams into the ground

true ending: don’t fucking slash tires because they’re under insane amounts of pressure and putting a knife between yourself and an exploding tire is a bad idea. just get a pair of clippers and cut the valve stem to cause an unfixable leak like a normal person

now why would u think my gay ass knows what a valve stem is…?

this fucker right here