I'd even give him a backpack of food, maybe a day's worth. I'd even leave all his little gadgets on him. You'd only get connection with satellite anyway. He's got to feel confident or it's no fun.

Would you toy with him a bunch, or just go straight-in for the kill?

Oh you absolutely draw it out are you kidding? You let the initial confidence erode into loneliness as the food and batteries run low, and helplessness when they run out, then fear when he realizes I gave him a canteen but no water. Am I trying to prolong the hunt? Or is it a trap to draw him out towards the rivers? The answer is both.

I’d let him get clever. Maybe he can start a fire with the electronics, maybe he read that he can brew the pine needles into tea for some extra calories. Maybe hes one of those guys that carries a multitool he never uses. Maybe he whittles a branch into a crude spear and manages to catch a salmon. Maybe he learns how many little bones they have.

More likely he goes hungry. That’s when you start fucking with him. You sneak into his camp at night. You leave him protein bars. Good ones. You make him feel watched. You make him feel desperate.

You wait for the full moon. Then you break out the horns and dogs and you learn how fast he can really run.

No firearms. You use a crossbow.

Don’t make me laugh.

Elon Musk alone in the woods would be like Rick Sanchez in the same place. Give him 2 days and he’ll have made robotic sentry guns loaded with poison darts.

Day 4 he will have tamed several bears to kill on command.

After a week he’d have a self sustaining village that you will literally be begging to get into while your stupid body slowly dehydrates from explosive diarrhea because your dumb ass can’t even filter water in the wild.

After 2 weeks I’m sure Elon would have a viable fusion reactor and an antimatter production system in place.

5.5/10

This isn't how musk fanboys talk. They're marvel fan reddit business major types, not f-yeah science dr who fan types. In their eyes, he's not macguyver, he's tony stark.

You should've mentioned his pocket flamethrower, or maybe some weird implant he's got, and you needed to attack me way more. Just one "dumb ass" isn't enough, you should've called me a larper or r*tard or something along those lines.

The rick and morty reference was a nice touch though, calling him "Rick Sanchez" instead of just "Rick" gives the impression that the author is so sheltered as to believe that most people are not aware of Rick and Morty. It was a really strong start but you pushed the tone too hard and overblew it.

Remember, good bait is short and sweet. You want maximum emotion with minimum words, it's why "smug" is such a good tone to shoot for.

Overall a solid base. If this was half as long and a step and a half more chill it might have gotten me.

Can We Fucking Not?

I am not and never have been a fan of Elon Musk or his views, he takes credit for inventions that are not his own. He buys things and that makes him no better or worse than every other billionaire.

Eat the Rich

Does not mean kill the rich. It doesn’t mean hunting down a real live human being for sport. It doesn’t mean joking about murder harassment and terror. It doesn’t mean making light of literal torture just because someone has more money than you.

Eat the Rich means consume them. It means taking all their vast unearned resources and redistributing the wealth in the world to a more equitable state. It means making billionaires and millionaires learn to live like the average person while creating better living conditions for all. Eat the Rich means come for them, and by the end they will no longer be rich. But we’re not fucking pulling out the Guillitione and beheading Marie Antoinette again because Mob mentality has been whipped into a frenzy by propaganda. We take away the wigs, the jewels, and the fancy costumes and we make them live like us. Anything more just makes them into victims and the narrative turns on us and our views. Don’t make it easier.

Not to mention that this entire post disgusts me, and sounds like all the shit people spewed about John Green on tumblr just now aimed at someone else for something else.

I don’t care who it is, joking about hunting people for sport isn’t funny

Hunting billionaires in general and Elon Musk specifically for sport is pretty funny

Eat the Rich means kill them and devour their flesh