It has been a dark year. But here we are, with the faint, hopeful ringing of its death knells before us. And so, as a celebration of our survival, and as a gift to the internet this holiday season, I give you:

SEASONS GREETINGS, REBORN!

As Victor Frankenstein looked upon the human form and, seeing before him vast vistas of potential, took up his scalpel; so I, through fortune and toil, have wrought anew this holiday classic, lovingly crafted to be as fresh and crisp as newly fallen snow.

Enjoy.