You’ll Have to Pry the Post Office From Our Cold Dead Hands, You F*cks

You may be trapped inside your home, but you know you can’t escape the madness. No, it’s all around you, it’s been renewed for three more seasons on Netflix, it’s pissing in your last container of Lysol wipes, it’s arriving on your very doorstep right this minute via no-contact delivery. Don’t believe me? Read on…