letitrainathousandflames:

ohnoagremlin:

greysonderulo:

dragonsspire:

knight-nick:

If you think like that, please don’t ever have children.

Listen, my parents installed a lock on my door so I could lock everyone out of my room if I wanted to at sometime around 8 years old. They had a key of course for safety but they’ve never had to use it and they’ve never used it when they didn’t have to.

I was allowed full access to any books, movies, and internet I wanted fully informed about our family beliefs and practices but I was given no supervision once I reached about 13 because my parents trusted me to stick to the rules or not as I felt and come to them if there was anything that I had questions about.

As long as I said where I was going, who I was with, and when I was going to be back and then phone if anything changed I was allowed to do pretty much as I pleased from 13 onward.

I moved back in with my parents after university and the first conversation we had was my dad telling me that if I felt like they were treating me like a child to please tell them because they had no intention of doing so.

I still live with them and I’m comfortable here as an adult. When I eventually move out again, which I feel no rush to do because I feel respected and given more than enough elbow room, I will probably talk to them often if not everyday. Because they’ve always respected my privacy and my autonomy both physically and emotionally. If you want an independent and fictional child trusting them and giving them their space will do you many more favours than not.

meanwhile, my parents…

• password protected my computer so i had to get permission every time i wanted to use it
• put a passcode lock on our pantry so we couldn’t eat without permission
• regularly checked our internet browsing history
• shut off the internet at regular intervals, including when i needed it for university homework
• did monthly checks of our bank statements and would confiscate money if they didn’t approve of our activities

in response, i went behind their backs and opened a new bank account, got a secret job, bought my own groceries, and used the wifi from the school across the street. they didn’t succeed in disciplining me. all they did was force me to distance myself from them.

your children are not your property. they are human beings, and they deserve basic human rights.

kids are not your chance to make the abuse you suffered “worth it” by getting to finally be the rule-maker

This last bit is very important; you don’t get to abuse your kids with no internet/privacy/lock to their bedroom door and try to justify it with “you’re lucky bc when I was your age my parents would beat me instead” like shut up. You’re wrong. And if you keep acting like this, as soon as your kids are able to, they’ll leave and never speak to you again.