ayeforscotland:

willwriteforcaffeine:

ayeforscotland:

ayeforscotland:

The AyeforScotland Manifesto

That’s right, I’ve recently been approached by a version of my future-self who called me a silly cunt and told me that, despite being a blog and not even registering as a political party, the AyeforScotland group received 100% of the vote in an independent Scotland’s first parliament.

We’ve got to come up with policies pretty fast so we better get to work.

1. Irn Bru is designated as a national utility. One could argue it is the lifeblood of the nation and must be nationalised and available through special Irn Bru taps that will be installed in public spaces, and homes.
2. We reintroduce wolves to Scotland. It’ll be good for the environment and eco-system. If the wolves eat us, then so be it.
3. A complete ban on vore.
4. Nationalise all public transport so I dinnae have to pay £213 a month to fucking Abellio for a fucking season ticket to get to work
5. Take all private estate land - mainly grouse moors into public ownership. Feed grouse moor owners to new wolf population.
6. Universal basic income. It just makes sense.
7. Every single child will undergo extensive military training to turn them into Spartans from Halo. When combined with the new Aye-rn Man suits, they’ll be invincible and we’ll only ever use them to aid in natural disasters worldwide.
8. If the Gender Recognition Act isn’t reformed by then, we’ll do that. This will a. Allow trans people to be recognised as their gender without having to go through horrendous amounts of red tape and b. Allow non-binary people to state that they are non-binary on official documentation.

I’ll probably add more later but there’s a starter.

9. Build a fucking giant moat at the border.

And what, pray, will that moat be filled with

Flesh-eating haggis obviously