goldhornsandblackwool:

radredrecluse:

beesmygod:

heavyweightheart:

anna-mator:

robotsandfrippary:

heysawbones:

swampseer:

kithnkin:

omgthatdress:

superopinionated:

omgthatdress:

Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Susan Forward

Why Does he DO That: Inside The Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft

Cannot recommend WDHDT highly enough. I’ve found it helpful not just for romantic relationships, but also for growing up w a “unexplainable/uncontrollable” dad.

IT HAS ALSO BEEN REALLY HELPFUL FOR UNDERSTANDING ONLINE MOB HARASSMENT.

So if you’ve ever been bombarded w threats to be raped/killed, (so…if you’re a minority and you’ve been on the Internet for a while), this book might be useful for getting clarity around the whole entitled, abusive mindset that drives certain kinds of people to behave that way. And by “getting clarity”, I mean (for me) being able to go “oh, that’s what’s happening” and not really feel scared anymore. Or angry, or drawn out into it, or anything.

And if you’re still standing around going “but how does something like GamerGate happen?” or “but why do men hit their wives?” or whatever – please read that book and learn something.

^^^^ truth WDHDT is fantastic at cutting down MRA bullshit and calling it what it really is

Also recommending

Please consider reading these. WDHDT is really, really helpful. And I know some of you are struggling with abusive relationships, friendships, families, etc. You’re not alone. There is help.

Yo. This family holiday, please, please take care of yourself. You aren’t there to be anybody else’s cushion.

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

Reading any of these books does not mean you don’t love your parents or family.  It’s just self care for helping you cope and not repeat the behaviors. 

A gentle reminder that I have Toxic Parents as a FREE PDF if you would like to download it and read it on your own. Take care of yourselves.

All the books in this thread are great; adding this one because it was the most helpful to me. Free pdf here

toxic parents is the book i checked out from the library last january that REALLY SINCERELY helped kickstart my road to recovery. even if you are not a victim of abuse, they are invaluable reasources, but help pass them around so people who have been abused can have access to material that actually, genuinely, sees them and provides them with concrete help

saved which ones i could as pdfs

“adult children of emotionally immature parents” is $10 on ibooks, lower than amazon

“why does he do that” pdf here, (the above one is gone)

just make sure you tap the little icon in the top-right

before copying to ibooks because for some reason the link won’t go straight to the download and trust me i pasted the right one :/

From an early age I understood my father was abusive and so I could write his temper off as *his* problem and not mine, which helped. But I was so angry with my mother for a longer time bc I felt like she basically didn’t stand up for me and etc etc. It wasn’t until yearsss later that a family member of mine said that from the outside, what they observed was my mother being *jealous*. The thought never crossed my mind then but now, and also after reading some things about mothers, I think it’s really important to focus on that. A lot of our mothers became jealous of us, perhaps on this deep-seated level of competing with us for fatherly attention (as in to compete for resources) and that’s…not okay.