In this little town, when the fourteenth comes ‘round, there’s a silence, and fear in the air. Remember the morn, that the legend was born, all the shock, and the horror was there.
The Ballad of Harry Warden by Paul Zaza
You’re a resident in a small mining community where two men who were responsible for an explosion at the mine when attending a Valentines day dance instead of doing their jobs were brutally murdered by Harry Warden, a survivor who’d been forced to resort to cannibalism in order to stay alive. Before being dragged off to the nuthouse he vowed that should the dance ever resume more victims would follow. Twenty years later the celebration is reinstated but before the big day the mayor and chief of police receive an anonymous box of chocolates containing a blood soaked heart accompanied by a note stating the murders will continue if the dance proceeds. The same day a little old lady is killed at the launderette, tumble dried, and her heart removed. The decision is made to cancel the dance. Do you:
a. Respect the decision, better safe than sorry.
b. Hold the dance some other time-Easters nice, or
c. Say “f**k it” and go ahead with the shindig at the very mine where the killer made a buffet out of his coworkers.
If you answered anything other than c then you’re reading the wrong blog.
Set in the fictional town of Valentine Bluffs, My Bloody Valentine differs from many of its contemporaries by not attempting to mimic Halloween (the price of William Shatner masks was sky high by 1981), and this is reflected in the casting of older victims for the manic miner to put to the pickaxe. Don’t get me wrong-we’re not in Cocoon territory here, but it is refreshing to see slightly more mature actors in a slasher movie.
There isn’t much time wasted on exposition as a buxom blonde is bumped off pre-title screen. The back story is left to this films answer to Friday the 13ths Crazy Ralph, a scenery chewing bartender called Happy, who is largely ignored before being added to the body count.
With much of the action taking place underground the film has something of a dank aesthetic which works in its favour, creating a tense atmosphere and setting it apart from others in the genre. Another stand out feature is the killer himself. Having a disgruntled pit worker play the villain of the piece is a masterstroke in that he comes complete with a weapon and outfit that strike a sinister chord before he’s drawn first blood. This is one miner even Margaret Thatcher wouldn’t have messed with!
The acting varies in quality throughout, with most of the characters being likeable if a tad one dimensional, and the film can be a little camp in places (check out the theme to the closing credits if you dig kitsch), but this doesn’t stop it being an enjoyable slice of 80’s hokum.
If you’re looking for a slasher with heart (ha!), you could do a lot worse than make a date with My Bloody Valentine.
Pre-1974 the state of Texas was known for two things: The Alamo, and every mans right to marry his horse. Post 1974 cross dressing, skin mask wearing, chainsaw wielding cannibals became a permanent fixture on the list.
Tobe Hooper’s third film was much better received than his first two. His debut feature Eggshells barely registered and his second The Song Is Love fared little better, but any picture titled ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ was bound to grab some attention.
Focusing on the cannibalistic Sawyer clan TCM is best described as a proto slasher. Elements such as the body count and final girl are present, not to mention that all important staple of any self respecting blood and guts fest, a fat guy falling out of his wheelchair and rolling down a hill.
In truth there is very little in the way of gore on display here. The bloodshed is suggested leaving your imagination to conjure up far worse images than the special effects team ever could.
The fear factor stems not from the carnage meted out by main antagonist Leatherface and his family, but from the relentlessness of their pursuit. Lacking the structure of the traditional horror film TCM feels like one long waking nightmare.
The premise is a simple one: five friends on a road trip run low on gas in a desolate part of Texas. Seeking help they happen on a crazed family with a taste for human flesh. Throw in a chainsaw, some furniture crafted from human remains, and a deranged hitchhiker and its easy to understand why this is almost universally regarded as a classic of the genre.
The Sawyers are all unique in their own twisted way, from the cook who ‘just can’t take no pleasure in killing’ to the blood sucking grandpa, each plays their part as foils for lead heroine Sally.
From a technical standpoint film quality is on par with a 1970’s porno and in another parallel the emphasis is on attractive young ladies being split in half with a large tool. The graininess of the film stock coupled with some unorthodox camera angles adds a gritty realism to proceedings taking you beyond the realms of entertainment and placing you shoulder to shoulder with those fighting for their lives.
As opposed to most films of this type much of the running time is spent in broad daylight. By bringing the horror out of the shadows and shattering any kind of safe haven for the viewer a sense of paranoia is forged where you’re unable to let your guard down from one frame to the next.
With the passing of Tobe Hooper in 2017 we can now look back on his career as a whole and see that The Texas Chain Saw Massacre was by far his finest hour (although with classics such as Spontaneous Combustion and Crocodile on his CV the competition wasn’t exactly stiff).
A film like this could so easily have come across as cartoonish or cliché (though Hooper himself always maintained it was a black comedy) but the stars aligned and what resulted was quite possibly the finest pure horror movie ever made. Not bad for a low budget exploitation film with the working title ‘Head Cheese’.
Scientists have created a mutant enzyme that breaks down plastic drinks bottles – by accident. The breakthrough could help solve the global plastic pollution crisis by enabling for the first time the full recycling of bottles.
The new research was spurred by the discovery in 2016 of the first bacterium that had naturally evolved to eat plastic, at a waste dump in Japan. Scientists have now revealed the detailed structure of the crucial enzyme produced by the bug.
The international team then tweaked the enzyme to see how it had evolved, but tests showed they had inadvertently made the molecule even better at breaking down the PET (polyethylene terephthalate) plastic used for soft drink bottles. “What actually turned out was we improved the enzyme, which was a bit of a shock,” said Prof John McGeehan, at the University of Portsmouth, UK, who led the research. “It’s great and a real finding.”
The mutant enzyme takes a few days to start breaking down the plastic – far faster than the centuries it takes in the oceans. But the researchers are optimistic this can be speeded up even further and become a viable large-scale process.
On May 6, the United Nations released a summary of a major new report warning that human destruction of the natural world, including through climate change, now threatens up to a million species with extinction. May 6 was also the day that royal baby Archie was born.
This blog is mostly so I can vent my feelings and share my interests. Other than that, I am nothing special.
If you don't like Left Wing political thought and philosophy, all things related to horror, the supernatural, the grotesque, guns or the strange, then get the fuck out. I just warned you.
