The Fresno Nightcrawler, also known as the Fresno Alien, has been spotted in both Fresno and Yosemite. It is a short creature of about 4 feet, extremely thin, and has no arms. It has also been seen wearing a white cloak.
Certain Native Americans in the surrounding area claim the Nightcrawlers have existed on Earth for a considerable amount of time and come from a planet consisting majorly of swampland. Their long legs are thought to help them maneuver through the boggy terrain.
That just means that the local economies will be able to recover without a predatory megacorp sucking them dry as well! What a win-win!
And that’s not a joke: The average Walmart Supercenter costs taxpayers between $900,000 and $1,750,000 (since they don’t pay their employees a living wage, the workers have to go on public assistance programs) this is intentional, since Walmart accepts SNAP, it means that they not only get to skimp on paying their workers properly, they can also funnel taxpayer money into their bottom line.
