The health secretary once described lockdown-breaking hookups as ‘a matter for the police’. Will he hand himself in?
Sorry, but the only thing I want to see Matt Hancock doing against the back of his office door is sliding down it with his head in his hands. But he can probably bank on not being sacked by Boris Johnson for having an affair. It would be like being sacked by Stalin for being slightly arsey to work with.
Even so, Hancock will be glad that the British Antarctic Territory has been added to the green list, just as he’s been added to the shit list. The South Pole suddenly looks well worth packing his bags for. Temperatures are currently minus 87 but feel like minus 108, making it considerably less frosty than any of Matt’s current climes.
That said, if Hancock does end up being resigned for this, it would fit with the general twilight mood in the UK’s national story. Nothing says “country that’s going to make a massive success of itself’” like a guy getting away with contributing to tens of thousands of unnecessary deaths but having to quit for a knee-trembler. It’s like getting Al Capone for snogging.
So, then, to the health secretary’s “steamy clinch” with Gina Coladangelo, the lobbyist and long-term friend he took on as an aide last year (though initially did not declare it), and who was subsequently given a paid non-executive directorship at the Department of Health. Footage of this has somehow found its way from Hancock’s office security cameras to the front page of the Sun, in a WORLD EXCLUSIVE that feels like a major bollock-drop for the newsdesk of the Matt Hancock app. Guys … what happened?
Quite how the paper obtained the source material one can only speculate, though I’m suddenly reminded of a quote last April from a Downing Street official, who remarked to the Sunday Times: “There is not much love for Matt Handjob here.” Nor in the Department of Health, perhaps. …
